Friday, June 15, 2007

Missed Connection: Kool-Aid Man

Fuck you, Kool-Aid Man.

I enjoy kool-aid but I'm not a heavy drinker. I know my limits. I like it because there's no sugar (yay, splenda!) or caffeine or any real garbage. It's just water and flavoring. And over the years I've been collecting the points on the back of the packets--I figured one day I'd hit up their catalog and get some good swag. I don't want anything cheap but something cool that takes a lot of points. I have 373 points. That's a lot of saved kool-aid packets.

I checked out the web site. What can I get?

A fucking t-shirt. I barely have enough for a beach towel. They have five things I can get: t-shirt (125 points + $2), "plush toy" (150 points + $4), a pitcher (70 points + $1.75), a beach towel (350 points +$4.45) and a packet holder (20 points + $1.75).

I've got to spend a buck seventy-five to get the packet holder? "Includes shipping and handling". Fuck you. I could get that packet holder at a 99 cent store.

What a waste. Fuck you, Kool-Aid man. Your swag sucks. I can't say what I wanted to find but I know it was more than five (5) garbage promotional bits. Maybe a cool poster--hell, even a cool t-shirt instead of the lame shit you have out. Is this what kool-aid has been reduced to?

Look at the stuff on eBay. That stuff is cool, aye? It's worth my time to spend a few extra bucks and get something there rather than keeping track of all these stupid points.

Three hundred and seventy three points in the trash. Oh yeah.

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