I smite thee! ...The Diary of Nod

Is it possible that I like talking to you?

I was at Dragon*Con all weekend and ran into a strange recurring event: I would meet a woman, talk for a bit, chat things up and realize that there was chemistry. We'd both feel it, we'd both know what we'd want, but for different reasons, the women would pass on taking the budding relationship forward right then. Ok, that happens and I don't take it personally--it almost always has more to do with her than me; if it is "me", it's not actually me but something I was doing and not something about who I am.

So, I don't take it personally and I ask for their contact info because there obviously is a connection and I'd like to talk to them again, even if they live a thousand miles away.

But they won't tell me. The reason I'm given is always comes back to the same--they think I'm only doing it to fuck them. They'll tell me where they'll be in the morning, they'll tell me to come see them next year, they'll happily do whatever but they don't want to talk to me in between...because they think I'm trying to get a hook-up with a girl who lives a thousand miles away.

Bitch, is it possible that I just like talking to you?

I am NOT travelling a thousand miles for a hook-up. I'm not going to waste time talking on the phone or such so that I can improve my chances of a hook-up next year (losers rely upon chance, winners use talent). I am not going to work for sex with some (virtually) nameless woman who I don't care about.

One girl said, "I'll give you my number but you won't call." At first I thought she was trying to tell me what to do, that I could have the number but I wasn't allowed to call. Nope. She thought I was just asking as a step to get in bed with her, rather than keep in touch with her like a normal person. She thought once I realized she wasn't going to sleep with me, I'd immediately lose interest.

I don't know if that's a greater statement about her view of herself or the men around her.

I have no idea which of these girls are ones I'd like to hang out with more frequently--maybe none. But to me, it's a minor cost to talk to someone occassionally and see how deep the connection goes. I do the same thing with guys, only without the sexual tension. And if they bore me or piss me off or whatever, I don't have to keep in touch anymore. I definately don't put up with bullshit in a foolish attempt to placate them so I may worship at the altar of pussy when we meet again.

Why do so many women act similarly? It's definately not isolated to D*C; I've seen it in lots of places. I suspect it's that women can't comprehend that a guy could simultaneously be open to both sex and not-sex. From a sheer numbers game, they may often be right, but not with me. I expect more open minds around a place like D*C...

posted by Lachlan @ 11:58 PM