Modesty or Embarassment?
People look at me like I'm a prude. I think it's called parenting. I have very strict rules about what my kids can wear; in terms of sexuality, this generally only applies to my daughter, since I have less concern my son is going to wear such inappropriate clothes.* No short skirts or shorts. It has to be longer than the tips of her fingers or halfway down her thigh, whichever is greater. Not a big deal until you try getting clothes and the only thing you can find are scooter shorts.
* Nothing written on the tush. Why would something be written on the tush? To make you look at the tush.
* No shirts with an external bra. They're designed to draw attention to the breasts. Not on my kid.
Stuff like that. Nothing designed to accentuate sexuality. All very reasonable and I'll become less strict after my kids leave elementary school. Yeah, elementary school. Try shopping for a six year old--the clothes aren't right for a child. I'm very protective of my kids because it's my job to raise them properly. They need to learn to take care of themselves because I won't always be there to tell them what's the right thing to do. As they get older and their lives are more independent, I have to trust that they are honest with me and aren't changing clothes in the bathroom.
Yet, as much as I want my kids to have time to be kids, I read about "modesty" movements that are really about embarassment and shame. I want my kids to be proud of themselves both inside and out. They need to understand modesty and respect in a way that doesn't lead to shame or embarassment. Our bodies are great and sexuality is a part of that--as long as it's done when the person is mature enough to control it. Teaching kids that they need to hide who they are isn't healthy any more than putting them in hyper-sexual clothing.
posted by Lachlan @ 9:05 PM
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