Gilligan is dead.
WASHINGTON (Routers) - Bob Denver, the beloved title character of Gilligan's Island, passed away Friday at age 70 and has left a void on the tiny ship the S.S. Minnow. News of the death of Bob Denver struck the heart of the nation's capital, but President Bush has stated that he will have a nominee to Congress by the end of the week. "In this time of need, we require all hands on our naval vessels and I will appoint someone to assist the Skipper in his duties. Senators must look beyond partisanship to confirm my nominee swiftly."Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has reservations about likely candidates. "President Bush must nominate someone with the necessary skills who is in touch with mainstream America. I am greatly concerned that many of the individuals being suggested would not properly commit themselves to the core American values of freedom, equality and fairness." Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT), ranking member of the Judiciary Committee, spoke similarly. "This individual has a tough task. They will be responsible for rigging and steering as well as the morale of Mary Ann and Ginger. We cannot entrust this duty to the asshole who raised the most amount of money for the President's re-election."
When reached for comment, Vice-President Dick Cheney responded harshly to Leahy's accusations. "Fuck yourself."
posted by Lachlan @ 12:56 AM
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