Friday, September 09, 2005

No talent ass clowns.

David Spade is getting a new talk show on Comedy Central satirizing the entertainment industry. I think giving David Spade a new show is all the satire we need. Did somebody lose a bet or can the boy suck a golfball through a garden hose? First Jimmy Kimmel, Colin Quinn, Adam Carolla, now Spade? Thank God SNL keeps turning out unfunny people or Comedy Central couldn't have talk shows.

In happier news, Tara Reid has been given a show on E! called Taradise and I can stop beating off to still images of her nipple slips. E! is moving up the ladder, replacing the moronic blonde haired big tits Anna Nicole Smith with the moronic blonde haired big tits Tara Reid. At least this chick is my age and doesn't have a kid my age.

While E! and Comedy Central are providing entertainment for all our fast food employees, people in New Orleans are getting screwed. Usually you have to wait for Mardi Gras to see people take it in the ass like this. But hey, it can't be all bad--the President's mother, Barbara, thinks that since the victims had such crappy lives before the disaster, they're doing much better in shelters in Texas. And First Lady Laura Bush is recommending that displaced victims enroll their kids in school, so they don't get behind.

THEY JUST LOST THEIR FUCKING HOUSE AND GRANDMA FLOATED AWAY BECAUSE PEOPLE FORGOT ABOUT HER IN THE NURSING HOME. I THINK THE KID IS GOING TO BE A LITTLE DISTRACTED.

But we all want to take advice from the librarian when we're dealing with a natural disaster. Hey, she's well connected enough that she could be a director of FEMA.

We shouldn't be too rough on Michael Brown, the under-secretary of FEMA. This isn't a dog and pony show and the man has to be qualified--some of those horses could break a leg and you've got to act quickly by putting it down.

So THAT explains the armed response in New Orleans.

I saw last night that FEMA is taking donations to send down to the victims. Maybe I'm insane here, but I think I already gave my donations in the way of tax dollars--I donate to charities, I don't donate to the government. When FEMA is panhandling next to the Red Cross, we're fucked.

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