1000 monkeys on typewriters could write Hamlet...
...but it only took one to write Here On Earth (2000).PLEASE DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE.
This movie is horrible. North Korea could use this film to torture dissidents. The acting is rigid, the dialogue predictable, the plot unoriginal but still contrived... I wouldn't watch this again if someone paid me. I'd rather slam my skull against a brick wall than watch this again. I'd rather drown in a vat of bleach than watch this again. I'd rather watch Gigli or North or anything starring Chris Farley.
This movie should have been categorized "Horror". The only thing romantic about this film is the credits. I've seen more chemistry in a jug of water. Drama is calling out dialogue before the actors do, just to see how often I can get it right, except that drama requires conflict and I just kept getting the dialogue right.
I saw a trailer for this movie and was very intrigued. While none of the actors were "stars" at the time it was made, they're all very talented and I had high hopes this would be something unique and entertaining that I would tell my friends to watch.
I'd get thrown in front of a train if I recommended this to any friends. If you can't find the DVD, check a furniture store. I think they're using them as shims on the short leg of a table. Hospitals are using it to teach amputees to run.
This isn't even something that makes a fun drinking game. It's just a BAD movie. The acting is especially awful when one considers how talented many of the players are. Writer Michael Seitzman also wrote North Country, a movie I'll now be avoiding like the plague.
I think "The Plague" was a working title for Here On Earth.
This is director Mark Piznarski's only feature film, his credits including television shows, TV movies, and the sixth director for a documentary about drying paint. I wonder how he can sleep at night.
No animals were harmed in the making of this film, but many reputations were.
2 out of 10: It's. Just. Bad. Please don't watch this.
posted by Lachlan @ 10:34 PM
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