Strong words for weak people.
Can and
Need are two very strong words that are overused, misused and abused. Too often these words are substituded for
want simply because we would prefer to not appear like a self-serving chimp. Unfortunately, usually we are self-serving chimps. Here, I am using "we" in the "you" sense.
What you
can and
cannot do are issues of possibility, not probability. Simply because you do not
want to doesn't not mean it is impossible for you: you
can do it if you
want to. In the same vein, just because you
want doesn't mean you
need, though it sounds so much better if we phrase it in the sense of a life and death struggle against the evils of society rather than our whorish desire for the newest trinket. Here, I am using "our" in the "your" sense.
When you can divine your ability--what you can and cannot do--and allow yourself to be guided by true necessity, you will be unstoppable.
Regret of regrets.
Henry David Thoreau wrote in his journal, "Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh." Katherine Mansfield said, "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in."
Regret is not an evil thing which must be avoided at all costs. To feel a sense of loss, to mourn or distress, are all part of the path to acceptance. The danger in regret is when it is wallowed in, when it does not lead to acceptance and a larger fulfillment of oneself. All must learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others, but regret of those mistakes can be an element of that learning. Through regret we can appreciate that which is lost and through appreciation we strive harder.
The mantra of so many, "I don't have regrets," has always seemed hollow and contrived. Living in the moment does not require forgetting the past, only an acceptance of what is true and cannot be changed. It is the acceptance and not the absence of regret which defines the individual.
When one stands upon the precipice of regret, bathe in it until clean. Do not spend longer than is necessary nor stop before the process is complete. Regret is but a single step toward fulfillment but one cannot ascend without passing all of the steps.
